The Kauji's That Were Not: Transcript

The Kauji's That Were Not Main Transcript, written by 2091riveraisrael himself...

SCENE-1
{Scene fades to Ponyville Where it pans to the right, until It reaches Godzilla's Eyes.}

GODZILLA: Rarity I'm not doin this?!

RARITY: You must darling, It's the only way We'll know if you are still smart.

{Camera Zooms from Godzilla revealing a block puzzle on the table.}

{Godzilla Looks Annoyed.}

GODZILLA: This is insane...

RARITY: We all have to do things we don't like too, even if you are a Monster.

GODZILLA: *To himself* God damn, *Out loud* fine. What ever.

{2 Hours, Godzilla can't even solve the Puzzle.}

RARITY: This is even more serious than I had imagined...

GODZILLA: Hey I told you the Puzzle don't work right.

{Sounds of a scream is than heard,}

GODZILLA: What the hell?!

{CRASH!}

{Rivera lands right on the table where Gozilla's block puzzle was on.}

{His wing strikes Godzilla's head.}

RIVERA: Ouch...

GODZILLA: I'm not payin for that fuckin table!

RIVERA: Ah ha sure pick on the Pegasus...

{Rainbow Dash flies down and helps Rivera up.}

{She looks disappointed.}

RIVERA: What?!

RAINBOW DASH: *Hoofs On Her Hips* Don't What Me, I told you lauching from that Cannon was a stupid idea! *Covers Face with Hoofs* Why don't you ever listen to me?

{Rivera Groans with annoyance, but Godzilla's chuckles catch his attention.}

RIVERA: You fine this Amusing Gojira?!

GODZILLA: launchin yourself from a cannon, what stupid Douch bag dose that shit?! *Laughs*

{Rainbow Dash points a hoof at Rivera}

RIVERA: Oh sure side with Gojira...

{Rainbow Dash smirks, nods than grabs Rivera's head taking off into the clouds with him.}

GODZILLA: *Stops laughin* Oh what the hell am I going to do with that Milenium Retard?

RARITY: I don't know... *Places hoof on shoulder* Any way darling now back to your training...

GODZILLA: *Groans* Yea yea I got it, I got it...

{Scene switches to a different part of Ponyville and it shows Twilight keeping track of Rivera's speed in the air, but is stunned when Rivera comes crashing down ontop of her.}

RIVERA: Ouch... *Rubs head*

{Twilight's hoofs are shown from under Rivera, with the head later popping out.}

TWILIGHT: *Coughs a bit* *Glares at Rivera.*

RIVERA:  What?!!

TWILIGHT: *Sighs* Congratulations Rivera, that's the 36th, time in a week you fell on top of Me.

{Applejack comes over.}

APPLEJACK: 37th, to be more precise...

TWILIGHT: *Sighs Again, Sarcastic* Thank you for the lovely tip

APPLEJACK: *Glares*

TWILIGHT: *Hoof on her chin* You are so lucky your cute, Rivera...

{Rivera gets up, followed by Twilight}

{Rainbow Dash arrives on the scene looking annoyed.}

RAINBOW DASH: *Hovering with Hoofs on her hips* He did it again didn't he?

TWILIGHT: *Sarcastic Look* How can you tell?

RAINBOW DASH: *Glares Ignores*

{Twilight Sparkle starts to walk around Rivera, for a couple than stops placing a hoof on her mouth trying to think.}

{Rivera looks hoplesly confused.}

TWILIGHT: Oh know this is worst than I thought, you can't even fly without falling now...

APPLEJACK: really Twi are you figuring this out now?!

RAINBOW DASH: Those damned Griffins started all this, If only they were alive I'd *Start punching Mid air over and over again.*

{Rainbow Nearly hits Applejack who responds with a glare.}

RAINBOW DASH: *Blushes Embarrassingly* Sorry...

TWILIGHT: There has to be something we can do?

{Applejack starts thinking, while Pacing back and fourth.}

{She Stops}

APPLEJACK: Hmmmm Well we could always-*Gasp Huh!!!*

{Applejack was cut off from the sounds of an Explosion coming from the distance.}

RAINBOW DASH: That sounds like it came from the Sugarcube Corner, Come On! *Flies over*

{The Ponies arrive at the Sugarcube to see it in ruble, and Israel smirking innocently.}

ISRAEL: Dude Sorry, there must have been to much Yeast, in the Dough...

{Pinkie Pie's head emerges from the ruble,}

PINKIE PIE: *Angry* Israel how many times do I have to tell you to Take the Yeast out of the Package before you put in?!

ISRAEL: Like about 4,850,000 Times... *Smiles Historically.*

RARITY: Pinkie what happened here?

PINKIE PIE: Well... *Points a Hoof at Israel's face* this one put too much Yeast in the Dough causing it to explode.

ISRAEL: How was I supposed to know Yeast would Fire up Like that?

(Pinkie Just ignores, responding with just a glare, and a Hoof on the hip...)

ISRAEL: What?!

'''RIVERA: Wow I gotta say I'm glad I'm not the one who is pissed right now. *Chuckles*'''

(Rivera is hoofed by Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Twilight Sparkle, for being a smart attic.)

RIVERA: Ouch...

TWILIGHT: Hush!

(Applejack walks over to Pinkie Pie.)

APPLEJACK: Don't worry Hun, we'll try and see if we can rebuild the Surgarcube.

PINKIE PIE: *Smiles* Thanks Applejack...

{Israel approaches Rivera, and Godzilla, who were looking unammused.}

ISRAEL: I dooo Noot Wanna hear it.

RIVERA: Of course not...

GODZILLA: Why in the hell of all of Monsters would you put too much f**kin yeast in one Dough?

ISRAEL: How the hell was I supposed too know that putting too much Yeast into a Dough in an office next door too a Barbecue Pit would explode!

RIVERA: *Curiosity* Hey do Barcbecues have Pits?

{Godzilla smacks Rivera and Israel with annoyance.}

{Mane 6 turn from there conversation horrified.}

GODZILLA: No!

ISRAEL: *Too Godzilla's Face* Why the hell did ya hit me for I didn't Say-*Bucks Rivera's Side* He said It!!

RIVERA: *About too thrash Isael* Oooh Yea....

{Godzilla Blocks Rivera's sight of Israel with a creepy Grin}

GODZILLA: Oh you said it...

{Rivera Cowers}

RIVERA: No no no no no man I didn't say it-

TWILIGHT: Alright break it up you 3!

{Twilight walks with the Mane 6, towards Godzilla Team who now have there attention on her.}

TWILIGHT: That dose it You 3 are going too the Princess Celestia, maybe she can help cure you 3.

{Cut too Canterlot, where The Mane 6, and Godzilla Team are trotting through the halls, and towards Princess Celestia's throne room.}

{Israel reads the printing on the door too the Throne Room}

ISRAEL: Prince SS, Ce mestia PRINCE SS Ce MESTIA!!

GODZILLA: What would you expect.

RIVERA: I'l handle this shit

{Rivera Walks up too the Door and starts pounded in it.}

RIVERA: Open Up It's Horace Rivera!

{Princess Celestia is shocked too see Godzilla Team pound on her door that way.}

{The pounding continues}

GODZILLA: Come on Open Up.. *Tries too get in but can't.*

ISRAEL: I got an idea...

{Rivera & Godzilla look at Israel}

{The 3 are than shown against the wall,}

ISRAEL : On 3 1-2- Ugh Rivera what comes after 2?

RIVERA: Ugh 78...

GODZILLA: You Dip Shit, It's 86...

RIVERA: What the F**k do you know about countin your a Monster!

GODZILLA: And what are you, a Pony!

RIVERA: *Growls*

{Cut too the Mane 6 still trouting through the halls.}

RARITY: Our Stallions have been very quiet lately.

PINKIE PIE: Yea,

APPLEJACK: Maybe there cured.

RAINBOW DASH: I doubt it.

{Fluttershy turns around realizng that they arn't following them.}

FLUTTERSHY: Um girls, I don't think there following with us.

{The Mane 6 quickly turn around with wide open eyes.}

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: Oh this is not good, come on!

{The Mane 6 trot off back down the hall.}

{They Arrive where Godzilla Team is and embarresed when they see Canterlot Guards watching them in confusion as they argue.}

RIVERA: I say it's 78 I tells ya...

ISRAEL: Your wrong it's 92....

GODZILLA: F**K Off both of ya Every body knows that the number that comes after 2 is 86!

{The 3 continue arguing the Mane 6 softly krept awat behind pillers.}

RAINBOW DASH: Oooh Celestia, that's so Embarrasing.

RARITY: I don't think I can show my face around those guards now.

FLUTTERSHY: What do we do?

{Twilight than growleed and Trouted over too the crowd,}

{She passes around, throught the Gap, and confronted Godzilla Team.}

RIVERA: 78!

ISRAEL: 92!

GODZILLA: 86!

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: What the hell Is going on here!!!

{Godzilla Team turns towards Twilight SParkle who is later regrouped by the Mane 6.}

APPLEJACK: What in Tarnations you 3 are Embarasing us!!!

RIVERA: Twilight, Finally! your the smartest out of all these ponies, yill you be kind enough *Points too Godzilla and Israel* too tell these Characters, that the number that comes after 2 is 78.

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: *Angry Twitching* Numbuer that comes after 2 is WHAT?!! You Embarrass us infront of all of Canterlot, Just because you 3 Idiots can't figure Out what comes after the NUMBER 2!!!

GODZILLA:*Smirks at Rivera* I'm stickin with 86.

RIVERA: *Growls*

RARITY: *Walks up too Twilight* It's Not 86!

RIVERA: HA!!!!

GODZILLA: *Growls*

RAINBOW DASH: *Hovers infront of Rivera,* And It's not 78!!

ISRAEL: They owned both your asses, I knew Horray for 92!

PINKIE PIE:*At Israel's* It's not 92 either Israel!!!

{Godzilla Team Is Speechless.}

{Guard walks up too the Mane 6.}

GUARD: Do you 6 know these Stallions?

FLUTTERSHY: Yes We do we got this!

TWILIGHT: Get it through thick skulls, 78! 92! and 86! dose not come after 2!!

GODZILLA: Well than Smart ass, if non of our numbers work than what dose!

TWILIGHT: IT' 3 YOU IDIOTS!!!!! *Covers her mouth more embarrased than ever.*

{Everything is quiet.}

RIVERA: Ha I knew It was 3 It owned your asses *Points too Godzilla & Israel*

GODZILLA: You never said that shit!

RIVERA Yes I did!

ISRAEL: What the F**k Ever she finished the last number! GO!!!!

"Godzilla Team Charges towards the Mane 6 where the door is right behind them."

PINKIE PIE: What are you 3 doing?!

RAINBOW DASH: You wouldn't Dare!

PINKIE PIE: What are you 3 doing?!

RAINBOW DASH:*Freaked Out* You wouldn't Dare!

{They don't Stop.}

GODZILLA TEAM: ARRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

TWILIGHT: Get out of the WAY!

{The Mane 6 break away from the door as it opens,}

PRINCESS CELESTIA: Twilight Is that you? HUH? *Opens the Door Wide Open*

{Godzilla Team misses it's target surging passed Princess Celestia and crash into the wall sending in a large avalanch of scrolls buring them from the shelves above.}

{Princess Celestia is shocked.}

{Rivera is on his back on top of the Pile of Scrolls, Godzilla is lying down dazed, and ISrael is smirking hysterically at Rivera.}

RIVERA: *Imitating Israel* I have and Idea.. *Whacks Israel with his Wing* You Shit Head!!!

{The Mane 6 very Embarrassed but confidnent enough confront Princess Celestia.}

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: *Bows* Princess Celestia we are so sorry for your Shelves We're pay fo everything, but you've got too help us.

PRINCESS CELESTIA: What's wrong.

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: It's Godzilla Team, ever since they came back from fighting the 3 moron Griffins they began acting like complete Morons.

{Princess Celestia than turns too Godzilla Team, Godzilla just got up, Israel is showing off with scroll balancing on his nose.}

RIVERA: Yo Monsters Look what I can doo Ha ha ha ha...

{Israel is smacked by both Rivera & GOdzilla at the same time}

ISRAEL: Ouch!! *Groans*

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: You see! Please Princess Celestia We've tried everything but nothing we do works. You've got too help us.

PRINCESS CELESTIA: Twilight first you must be calm, your stressing is ruining your Mane, now When did they start acting this way?

APPLEJACK: 5 days ago, Rivera thrashed all my Apple trees because he thought they were giant Daffedills...

PINKIE PIE: And Israel destroyed my home by putting too much Yeast in dough....

FLUTTERSHY: Israel mistreated my animals and thought they were action figures.

RAINBOW DASH: Rivera keeps shooting himself out of cannon and causes so much damage around Ponyville, that Twilight Applejack and I have too pay for it with our own Equestrian Dollars.

RARITY: Godzilla runined my new dresses mistaking them for bags, *Twicthes Angrily* I worked on those gowns for 5 months *Calms herslef*

PRINCESS CELESTIA: I see, it would appear that Godzilla Team may have been cursed, when they just defeated the Moron Griffions. *Sad* Unfortunatly, there is no cure...

MANE 6: WHATTTTTT!!!!!

FLUTTERSHY: You Mean there going too be stuck this way forever?!

{Princess Celestia sighs sadly, but than remembered of something in he head.}

PRINCESS CELESTIA: Yes, but I think there is a way that we can reverse it.

{Twilight Springs towards Celestia's face.}

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: Tell us Please do!

PRINCESS CELESTIA: I- I don't think the 6 of you are going too like what I'm going too say.. I suggest that-

{TWilight grabs Princess Celestia's hoof}

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: Please!!!!

RARITY: A Stallion i care about is in danger...

RAINBOW DASH: We're your students you have too Tell us.

PRINCESS CELESTIA: Very well I'll do it, but you 6 won't like it...

{The Mane 6 gather close too Princess Celestia while Godzilla Team is looking confused with raised Eyebrows...}

PRINCESS CELESTIA: The only way too cure them is too test there brains, you 6 will have too take the 3 of them out side of Equestria as far as you can go, than you must leave them anf allow them too find there way back, if they do then the affects are reversed.

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: What if they don't?

{Princess Celestia Sighs sadly,}

PRINCESS CELESTIA: Than the affects will remain permanent and thhey'll be stuck like this forever.

{Mane 6 gasp loudly.}

PRINCESS CELESTIA: You must sent them out, and wait a whole week for them too arrive, if they don't than I'm sorry.

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: *Scared*Isn't there another Scorll or a spell that can smarten them Up?! We can't leave them outthere they might not make it back at all!

PRINCESS CELESTIA: Twilight, there is no other way.

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: *Scared* but-

PRINCESS CELESTIA: TWilight as my faithful Student, you know this is the onlything that can be done you have too give it a try All 6 of you, It's either this or Godzilla Team will never be the same again.

{The Mane 6 are speechless Tears are forming in there eyes.}

SCENE-2
{Cut too Baloon soaring in the sky Clouds cover the ground.}

RIVERA: Okay Twilight, I'll bite, why am I in a baloon when I have wings?

{Camera Zooms in on the Baloon.}

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: We have too get you out of Equestria so you can find your way back.

{Rainbow Dash just finishes placing Rivera's saddle bag on.}

RAINBOW DASH: There that outta do it... *Rubs Rivera's side*

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: This is for you own good Rivera, trust me.

RIVERA: Ugh I don't know we're out in the middle of nowhere.

APPLEJACK: That's because we're in the sky hun.

{Applejack places a map inside Rivera's saddlebag.}

RAINBOW DASH: Trust me Rivera, we did not wanna do this, but if it's the only way too get yo and your friends back too normal than what choice do we have?

RIVERA: I didn't expect banishment would be a solution.

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: It's not banishment Rivera, this is just a test...

RIVERA: What kind of test, multiple choice? Problem solving? Grammer?

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: *Giggles*

APPLEJACK: Not those kind of test pardner.

RIVERA: What the hell? What kind of test dose not have Multiple choice?

RAINBOW DASH: Just consider it too be a test of survival of the fittest.

RIVERA: *Offended* Do I look fat too you stupid.

RAINBOW DASH: *Angry* That's not what I meant!

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: We're just dropping you and your friends off some where, than All you have too do *Levitates Map out of Saddle Bag and moves infont of RIvera*  Is follow these directions *Points hoof at the route they need too take* Trust me it will be like tearing down New York City....*Smiles*

RIVERA: So-

{Cut too Godzilla on a Stage coach where he takes over Rivera's lines while looking at amap in his hooves.}

GODZILLA: Let me get this straight your sending us out in the middle of nowhere, just too follow some peace of paper?

RARITY: *Places hoof on route line* All you have too do darling is follow this thick black line.

{Godzilla raises an eye in confusion.}

RARITY: If you and the other 2 make it back to Ponyville, you 3 are cured, and you'll be the exact same monster that I fell in love it-.

{Rarity stops her sentence and looks away her cheeks are as red as roses}

GODZILLA: Rarity if you want-

{Cut too Israel being transported by train with Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy in the seat in front of him where he takes over the line of Godzilla.}

ISRAEL: My opinion this is gonna take forever-.

{Camera Zooms out from Israel revealing the back of both Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy's heads.}

{The Camera than switches to Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy looking worried at Israel, with his mouth in the lower left hand corner.}

ISRAEL: And it's a waste of time..

FLUTTERSHY: It's the only way too cure you 3...

PINKIE PIE: Yes Israel, you Rivera, and Godzilla will have too at least try too make it back too Ponyville in 1 week.

{Camera Divides into 3 shots Rivera, in the Middle, Godzilla on the left, and Israel on the right.}

GODZILLA TEAM: 1 Week!!!

{Camera than shrinks back down too Israel.}

ISRAEL: Wait a minute, wait a minute here, you 6, expect us-

{Camera Cuts too Rivera.}

RIVERA: To rush our asses all the way back too Ponyville-

{Camera cuts too Godzilla}

GODZILLA: In just 1 week! are you 6 out of your f**kin minds?!

RARITY: Godzilla there is no other way, it was either-

{Camera cuts too Rainbow Dash}

RAINBOW DASH: This or we keep you 3 separate.

RIVERA: God damn this is Bull-

{Camera cuts too Israel.}

ISRAEL: Shit. If we can't even count too 3 what in the hell makes think we could.

{Camera cuts too Godzilla.}

GODZILLA: Make it back?!

RARITY: Just promise me, you'll do this Godzilla, Please Please

{Camera divides into 6 Slots, Twilight in the Center, Rainbow Dash on the far Right Rarity on the Inner Right, Pinkie Pie in the Far Left, Applejack in the inner Left, and Fluttershy in the Inner Center.}

MANE 6: PLEASEEE

{Camera than switches too the Divided slots of Godzilla Team}

GODZILLA TEAM: Alright Alright!

{Baloon arrives at Drop Point, Rivera leaps out.}

{Train arrives from the East Israel goins in, Chariet arrives from the West, Godzilla Joins In.}

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: Good luck boys, We'll be waiting for you back at Ponyville.

RARITY: Try not too cause too much trouble.

RIVERA: Trouble Ha! The only F**kin Time I ever caused Trouble was when I destroyed Tokyo Tower, Ha ha ha ha ha.

GODZILLA: Ha ha ha always kidding ha ha ha

{Rivera is bucked by Godzilla.}

RIVERA: Agh! *Growls*